Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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