WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think i got beer on your cat.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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