he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
