I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
