Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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