I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
