At least make sure they are 18
Why
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
