yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
