we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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