This girl is more easily done than said...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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