So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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