when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
