how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
