And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
