I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
