i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
