just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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