My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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