how do flat chested girls get laid?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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