My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Rumble strips road head = magical
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
