I think im going to throw up on grandma
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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