There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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