I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize