you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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