your room smells of hookers.
And success
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You were trust falling into bushes
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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