I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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