My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
