Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
