Midget sex pt 2 tonight
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Houston, we have a squirter
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize