my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
