So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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