I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
