she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize