When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
