when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
