She said her name was "party"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
