Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
