Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
