yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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