try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
