My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
