If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
