i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
