how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
