dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
