wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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