i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
