captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
