its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
