so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
