That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
