Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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