I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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