I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
