I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
