Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
