I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
